I looked at my wife and said, “I’m calling the principal.” I’m not normally that guy. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve called the principal the entire time my four children have been in school. But I couldn’t believe what my daughter was telling me. She was in film class, and the teacher insisted on showing a rape scene from a very famous film. No permission slips were sent home. There was no email to parents. My daughter was obviously disturbed by it. And I was angry.

I don’t get angry easily. I used to wonder, “Is it OK to show anger to kids?” However, over the years, I’ve come to believe that while most of what makes us angry shouldn’t, there are a few times that, not only is anger appropriate, it’s good for our kids to see. While we need to channel our anger constructively, and acting out in violence is never justified, our kids need to know that some things are just not OK. Here are 5 times your kids need to see you angry.

1. When Leaders Are Selfish

I believe this was the problem with this teacher. She decided she wanted to show this scene without thought of whether it was good for the students. When you’re a leader, you don’t get to act without thought of those you lead. When you do, people get hurt. A leader acting selfishly is dangerous. Is it OK to show anger to kids? Yes, if it’s in response to selfish leadership.

2. When Someone Intentionally Hurts Them

Protecting our kids is one of the most important things we do. So when someone intentionally hurts them, whether emotionally or physically, responding in anger is not just appropriate but good. It shows how deeply we love our kids and how wrong it is for anyone to hurt them. Again, we don’t repay evil for evil. We don’t hurt someone who hurts our kids. However, we do everything in our power to ensure it doesn’t happen again and to communicate just how wrong it was.