Benjamin sat thinking when his son walked in. They’d had a huge fight, and the tension was still in the air. He wasn’t sure what to say, so he asked his son about a girl. His son opened up and told his dad how confusing relationships with girls can be. Benjamin looked at his son and smiled. “I like when you talk,” he said. His son turned to him and replied, “I never know what to say to you.” That’s when Benjamin got a great idea. He told his son, “Why don’t we just tell each other what we wish the other guy would say?”

I thought that was a brilliant question from the character Benjamin in the movie We Bought a Zoo. Have you ever thought about asking your kids what they wish you would say more often? What do you think they would say? Try it. There are some positive things to say to kids that can make your relationship a lot closer. In the meantime, I made a list of things dads have said that made an impact on their kids. Here are 5 things your kids wish you’d say more often.

1. “I’m a fan of yours.”

My dad traveled for work. He would be gone for weeks at a time. One of my greatest memories from high school is when I would see him on the sidelines watching my practice. He would show up after being gone on a long trip. It was one of the first things he did when he arrived home. It was communicating that he was a fan of mine. Who else would sit and watch a three-hour practice? It made me feel loved. Tell your kids that you are their fan, with your words and your actions.

2. “You have a lot to offer.”

Each person is uniquely made with talents and abilities all our own. Unfortunately, in our culture, some talents garner more attention and money, making them seem more important. They aren’t. We need to know that and so do our kids. The Apostle Paul talks about there being many parts to one body and none of them are more important. In 1 Corinthians 12, he says, “God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be.” You and your kids were designed for a wonderful purpose.

3. “How are you doing?”