Organized sports can do wonders for dads, moms, and kids alike. But some families get lost down the rabbit hole. So here’s a good question: Is recreational sports running your family life? If you don’t remember the last time you got together with your best friends for a Saturday night barbecue, it might be. Or if one parent, or both, spends more time than not ferrying various children to various practice sessions, games, and trips. Or if the last time you had a family dinner together was on a road trip.

Playing recreational sports is great, but it’s too easy to run into a “tail wagging the dog” scenario and overlook that practices, games, and travel schedules have taken over. If you find that recreational sports runs your family life, it’s time to remember that playing sports is just one piece of an often complex family puzzle. Sure, a lot of kids have a blast playing. And no one wants a child to be benched because he or she missed a practice. But it’s smart to be aware of the signs that show the cost is too high. Ask yourself these 5 questions to see if recreational sports have taken over your family.